I'm no longer a virgin,

and neither is my mixer.  Even though it was only our first date...I just couldn't wait.

She was far too shiny...so I had to dirty her up a little bit.  I was flipping through the user manual, and came across a recipe that I already had all of the ingredients for:

Fuck yeah herb rolls.  Not just any herb rolls...ones that you can pull apart.  Amazing.  I have never done that before.  (Link to recipe at the bottom)

Thyme, Oregano, and Dill, which I conveniently planted the other day.

Recipe calls for 1/4 tsp of each herb...
I love my herbs so I added more!! 

I heated water to 115 and added my yeast, as I would with the other bread recipe I tried.  Only this time before hand, I had to heat the hook and bowl with warm water before this, which I never thought of doing before.  Makes sense, keeps the water at a steadier temp.  I added the first part of the recipe, and flipped the switch for the first time.

After some sort of stupid giddy hop and clap deal (what's happening to me?!  Say goodbye tomboy cred.), I added the rest of the flour and finished kneading the dough.  The spiral hook was fascinating to watch because it mimicked the hand-kneading motion quite well.  

One... 

Two...

POW!

The next part is where the "pull apart" thing comes in.  Check it out.

Roll into a 12x9 1/4" rectangle

Brush with BUTTAH

Slice into 6 strips.

Stack the strips, cut into 12 1-inch segments.

Put in muffin pan cut sides up, cover, and let rise for about 45 minutes or until doubled in size.

Poof!  

Now that that's out of the way, I put them in the oven, and proceeded to make a quick and nommy actual meal to go with these rolls.

Whatchu' know about bacon, son?

Chunky mushrooms and lots of garlic

Alfredo sauce.  From a jar.  WORKS FOR ME.

Slap that shit on some spaghetti....instant dinner.  The real stars for me were these beauties.

TA DA!

Yeah, you like that crocheted oven mitt?

The recipe for these rolls is on page 70 of the owner's manual for the KitchenAid Bowl-lift mixers.

Link to Manual PDF

It's here!!!

The holy grail of countertop kitchen appliances has finally arrived at my doorstep!!!!!

I have had the counter cleared and ready for this beaut for a few days now...and much to my pleasure, it actually fits!   (Why no, I did not measure cabinet to counter clearance before I bought this thing...fuck the cabinets!).

Let me tell you, this thing is beautiful.  I had originally wanted to go all out with a bright-ass completely obnoxious color such as the tangerine, or the green apple.  But everyone I asked advised against the Artisan models and recommended I go with the professional model instead. "A True Workhorse" someone told me; I will put this name to the test!!  I was a little sad that these models didn't come in fun colors, at first.  Then I saw the stunning copper pearl finish.  SOLD.

It is the fanciest piece of machinery I've ever owned.

Mmmm...quite.

My mind is spinning with all of the possible things that I can concoct with the various ingredients I have on hand.  Hmm...bread?  Cookies?  Muffins?  Soft pretzels?  Oh my.

One thing I can damn well guarantee is that I won't have another bread fail!

Hi there!

Oh, and in case you were wondering where I got it, I purchased it for $334 after rebate at Amazon.com.  You know you want one...

I shall report back my first adventure with my new toy, soon.